good words

Words have power. They do things. They change relationships. They create possibilities. They destroy futures. What we say is important.

Of course some words fall very flat when they aren't matched by action, but words alone are still quite powerful. That is why I think what we say to others must be creative and life-giving, rather than destructive, hurtful, or offensive. I sometimes find myself using the cheap 'humor' of sarcasm. I think sarcasm is a back door into mean-speak. It's a stab in joke's clothing.

I want to be more than nice and polite. I want to be the kind of person (purity of heart) who speaks only what is beneficial (purity of speech) to the people and the world around me.

Good words require a good heart. Good words are possible when our hearts are rightly oriented toward other people, and toward God. We speak what is beneficial to others when we really want what is good and right and best for them. We gladly set aside any would-be 'freedom-to-say-whatever-I-want' for the sake of someone else's well being.

I want my words to bring hope. I want my words to help people see that they have value and are loved. I want my words to be agents of truth and reconciliation. I want my words to invite people into goodness and mercy. I want my words to help people see the possibility they refuse to see in themselves. I want my words to offend for the right reasons. I want my words to be good.

bad words

I can say anything I want to say. Language that is labeled as explicit is merely that set of words that society has identified as taboo—off limits, or at least outside the limits of pious or polite conversation. They are just words. What we identify as ‘swearing’ is not what Jesus had in mind when he said, “Do not swear….” What we identify as cursing is not what the Paul was referring to when he wrote, “…do not curse….” They are simply words to which our social group has given special status. They are not what is prohibited in the Bible.

What is prohibited in the Bible has to do with dishonesty and malice invoking the identity and power of God (or gods). When Jesus says, “Do not swear,” the rest of what he said was, “do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” He was saying that we ought to be the kind of people who don’t need to invoke God’s identity and power to convince people. We ought to be the kind of people who speak without manipulating people by invoking some other authority.

When Paul says, “Do not curse,” he was referring to malice toward others. He was referring to bad words like, “I wish you were dead.” Paul wrote, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” For me to curse someone is to intend injury or death on them, which is often an open door to inflict injury or death on them if sufficient opportunity arises.

For me, language used to be a marker of godliness. Godly people did not speak words that were off limits. In recent years, some of my closest allies in the Church have found a kind of freedom in their use of words that are taboo. I think bad words are words that are spoken with an intent to destroy someone or to be dishonest to someone. So I am not too offended when someone uses a word that our society has given ‘off limits’ status. They are just words.

The thing is that these words usually suffer from guilt by association. They are usually found hanging around attitudes of meanness, malice, and violence. They are usually skulking around hatred, anger, and ill will. Often they are standing out in front of these attitudes, hiding something more horrible behind them.

What concerns me is what is in our hearts. What concerns me is what makes bad words bad when I say them or hear them. Avoiding the use of certain words does not protect your heart from evil. A person might never utter a ‘taboo’ word and still be full of malice, anger, rage, and hatred. A person is able to ‘curse’ and ‘swear’ without using what we call ‘foul language.’

I can say anything I want to say. That said, I do also need to take into consideration what effect my words have on the people I am addressing. Will what I say help or hurt someone else? If I use words that are deemed ‘off limits’ by that person’s culture (which may also be my culture), and it injures them, I have misused language—I have made those words bad. I am for purity of speech, but I am more for purity of heart—which makes all speech pure.