transactions

I have recently become aware of the extent to which I relate primarily in transactional ways. This tells me that I am conditioned as a consumer--a fact that I do not like--and that it has shaped the way I relate to people. When we relate transactionally, we see other people only for how we might benefit from the relationship. For me this has usually meant that I call people only when I need something from them. This is not loving, it is taking. The nature of love is to share--to give. So I am identifying ways to counteract my consumer conditioning.

One way in which I am trying to learn how to love others is to call them with no agenda--simply to listen to them. If I am really intentional, I will actively tell them why I appreciate them. This really sounds silly, but think of how much of our conversations are driven by an agenda to acquire something or another--to take. I am tired of taking. There is no end to it, no satisfaction...just the next transaction.

I don't think I am alone.